Beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes

Fini!

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:11:29 GMT

It's been a while since a proper update, however! Zenos is over, woo!

So here's the updates:

- Me and Andy passed our 70-271 exam, meaning we're MCP certified as well as MCDST certified! GET IN.
- The "Graduation" party at TGI Friday's was fantastic! There was me, Andy, Tony, Alex, Simon and Nick. Just a great bundle of laughs that needs to be repeated very soon!
- Went to my interview on the 18th, went fantastic! I went again yesterday for the second part, only to find out it was next week... (my bad)
- Ryan was taken to hospital last night which pretty much, killed me. I've never, EVER been so scared in my life. He told me to go home god knows how many times when I was around his last night; but I remained truthful and trusting and stuck with him the whole way. I even got in the Ambulance! :D He's ok now, I keep phoning him every hour or so! It's 'cause I'm caring and I love him.

So I'm bored, once again. I should really try and finish watching these House M.D. box sets; I'm still on Season 1 and about to start disc 4 out of 6. I've got ages to go!

Lyrics that mean a lot to me.

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:02:38 GMT

This is my life
It's not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I’d never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing ok
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before

Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

Something's going to break down.

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 20:01:42 GMT

Excellent. I love life.

I've passed my 70-272 exam, meaning that I've got an MCP. Awesome. I think me and Andy were over the moon we passed. If I remember, we were the only ones that had passed in our class. We're also neck 'n neck with exams and coursework. It's quite scary, really. We're awaiting the same results for ADITP 501 and we both need to do 3 exams. (A+ Essentials, N+ and 70-271). Three exams in a week, oh dear.

I've got an interview with BCA college on the 18th for an IT technician/tutor job. I'm over the moon.

I'm going back to college to finally collect my Cisco IT Essentials II certificate. Brilliant.

I love Ryan. We're cooking a Valentine's Day meal! Hehe, spent all day deciding what after going to Bakers Oven for lunch. Spaghetti Carbonara for the main, and Chocolate and Banana Fool for pudding! Yum!

I've got a hairdressing appointment on the 14th, too. I'm sure everyone will be shocked with my haircut!

15th - end of Zenos. Graduation. TGI Friday's meal too at 7:30! I can't believe it's nearly over. I'm going to miss everyone. I really am. (With exceptions, of course). I'm sure we'll all still keep in touch

Dance like you're the only one around.

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:46:47 GMT

Nothing really happened apart from working over the weekend. Tiring, boring. Just totally knackered at the end of it.

Today wasn't too bad at Zenos, apart from failing the other A+ exam. Oh well, another 30 days to wait... the stupid time limit is pathetic.

Not much to say, so I'm off to boogie.

Truely gutted.

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 22:28:19 GMT

Taken from my old school's website:

"Our school community has been deeply saddened to learn of the sudden death of Aman Kapila, one of our students in Year 11. Aman was rushed into hospital on Wednesday night and passed away on Thursday afternoon as a result of a major brain haemorrhage. Our thoughts and sympathy go to his family, especially Amar who is also a student here, and all his friends."

Rest in peace Aman, I'm going to miss you. I'll always remember our childhood memories, primary and secondary school life - and when we used to hang around together (and your brothers) when you lived down my road.

Gutted. Truely and honestly gutted.

On another note, I did pass my A+ exam today, only 4 more exams to go! I was so lucky, and felt so great. It was 700 to pass, and I got 700! Hahahaha. Brilliant.

...but right now, I feel shocked. Saddened. Gutted.

Just, why?

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 13:59:34 GMT

I may have reacted over the top to this, but I found pictures of a so-called friend of mine on a social networking site (I don't know how to react right now, apart from I'm incredibly pissed off and disappointed) of them smoking a joint. Bragging about it. Posting funny captions. If they read this, they'll know who they are. I'm irritated that they smoke drugs anyway (not around me), but the fact I know about it happening doesn't make it any better.

I'm annoyed before my exam. This is not good. I'm going to listen to my music on my phone again.

This is the world coming down on my head.

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 10:08:51 GMT

So today's the day of the exam. I'm not nervous, I'm quite calm actually. I'm currently doing a few practice A+ Essentials exams that aren't MeasureUp, so I better get back to doing that.

Wish me luck!

Also, it's pissing it down outside. I've never known it to be so bad apart from the floods back in July. I had trouble driving, well - to see where I was going actually.

Give me some new shit.

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 20:56:16 GMT

I'm loving Missy Elliott so much right now. However, as the title says; I should really get some new shit. New music. I'm still awaiting the release of David Jordan's new song; "Sun Goes Down". Only 25 days to go, haha! Oh well, I'll keep listening to my current playlist. That'll do.

Zenos was mildly interesting today, I finished ADITP Unit 510 off, which I'm relieved about. I also took an A+ Electives practice exam today on MeasureUp, scored 90%. Hopefully, I'll pass tomorrow. I really hope I do. Then I'll have 4 exams left (A+ Essentials on the Monday, the start of MCDST next week and N+ exam sometime after). I'm going to take my time, and revise my arse off. Well, I won't; but I'll do my best. That's all I can do.

I feel sorry for Ryan, he worries about me too much. I love him, of course I do - and I don't mind that he worries, but I guess he can be a little over-protective, but at least he cares a lot about me. That makes me smile.

I've been looking at teaching degree's today. I either have to be 21, or be working in an educational environment. How irritating! I might just try and apply for the graduate job at Theale, and hope for the best. Yes, it'll be a 3 or 5 year course, but I want to teach so I'm prepared to put the effort in to something I want to achieve.

I'm going to do some quick revision now, and some in the morning. We've also been told we have to be in early next Monday, (about 9am) due to some talk that didn't happen this week due to the woman being ill... this better mean we get to leave early!

New year, new start.

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 22:34:38 GMT

I think the title says it all quite nicely.

There's not enough time to just piss around, or to do nothing anymore. Even though nothing is apparently something, but I'm not going to get into that debate today. I've got a lot on my plate right now.

First of all, there's that lovely IT Academy, Zenos. I wasn't trying to be sarcastic in that last sentence, but I really do have to admit - it has done me some good. I've made a lot of close friends/strong friend relationships since September, of which I'm grateful for. The work may not be my piece of cake, however if it gets me more qualifications, more interest towards my C.V and possibly more money - then I'm satisfied. I'll work hard towards my achievements, and yes; I do put myself down at times due to not successfully passing an exam, or receiving a grade that I was not expecting. That's life, really. I've got to deal with it. I'm hoping to achieve something great after the 15th February; "Graduation" day from Zenos. Perhaps a job. Perhaps freedom? I'm not sure really right now. Although, I do know that I do want to teach kids, or perhaps students in a secondary school, preferably in IT. This is due to the fact I was never taught how to use a computer, how to take one apart (with the exception of expanding my knowledge at TVU). All thanks to my Mum, funnily enough. She works in an office, but I think that's where I first took interest in computing... probably at the age of 9? I was always typing fast in primary school. I could never get away from a computer, even if they were really bad RM computers. Note: No offence to the company, it was just that technology was never good around 1998.

Secondly, there's my part-time, weekend job at Somerfield. It's good, don't get me wrong - however a lot of people (and I have witnessed it) get credit/recognised for the littlest of things, whereas I put too much effort into my job at times, stretching out of my way to help customers as well as my colleagues and management. I'm not being picky, I do get the occasional thanks although I do get some of the shittiest jobs available. I should go and really tell someone how I feel, but I despise asking people for help, assistance or even to listen to my queries, unless I have a strong point about things. Like in Zenos today; the so-called bullying I witnessed in class was nearly enough for me to go to the regional manager, but I didn't. I just said my view, and it all calmed down. Easy peasy. Back to Somerfield, there's always a job I had, or would like to do, but never get the opportunity. I like supervising tills and so forth, but sometimes the job pushes the limit.

Thirdly, my friends. I don't know what I'd do without them to be honest. From Pangbourne Primary, to Theale Green, Reading College/TVU Reading and even Zenos... I may not talk to a lot of people anymore, but I'm always here for a chat to be honest. Not open to talk, usually. That's another strength I need to work on. Even if most of the girls I know get pregnant, smoke, do drugs or something... I'm always a friend at the end of the day, and I'm always here for an opinion, help or just general guidance. Another strong point - kudos to Student Mentoring I took part in!

The forth thing on my list, is my boyfriend, Ryan. It's been a tough journey (well, ok - it hasn't been that bad) but we've been through a lot. From the 28th November 2005, actually; even before that - I knew he'd make a good friend even if we never went out. We had a long talk today about what's happened for the last 2 years. Things like how we met, how we started to talk, when he sat next to me at College, when he walked me to the train station - little things like that. I'll never know, but Ryan might read this at some point and I really don't mind anymore. I've got nothing to hide, I've got no care in the world for anyone who wants to get in my way. Me and Ryan have got a future, and someday; we'll get our own place to live (even though we were basically living at each other's houses before Zenos started), have good jobs, start a family and so forth. I'm not going to jump to conclusions, but we'll get a place together even as friends. I suppose that's the good thing about Ryan and myself, that everyone else has witnessed. We're not just a happily-in-love couple, but best friends at the same time. We have our arguments, disagreements and what not; but we'll always come around to some sort of agreement. For example, me starting to drive Ryan around after I passed my test in November, hahaha.

Fifth and final thing, the games, the music, the LAN parties, the holidays, the good times. I love it all, but I've got to give it up one day to start my career - a teacher. So perhaps it's not the best-paying job in the world, but at the end of the day, at least I know I'll be doing some good to a lot of people, or even just one person - I'll feel good about it. That's what I want.

So I've come to the conclusion to come up with some ideas/suggestions/late New Years' resolutions:

More exercise. Whether I have to drag Ryan or someone else to a gym, or swimming, I will do it. I'm not over-weight, actually; I'm probably more under-weight, at around 7st 12lbs to 8st 2lbs, nothing more or nothing less at a tiny 5' 1.5". I can't put weight on, but there's nothing wrong with keeping in shape! Perhaps I might get into a swimming club like I hoped to do so when I was 12, for the olympics and what not... oh well.
Save money. I've never been a spender, but recently I have splashed out on everything and anything. A car, contract phone, insurance, CD player, DVD's, more CD's, games, game subscriptions... even clothes shopping (Jane Norman is my weakness, by the way). It's terrible. Ryan's got more money than me - THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING.
Get involved with WINGS2009. It's a world-wide Guide and Scout camp, held in the park in Windsor every 5 years. I remember going to the one in 2003, when I was a Guide. I loved it. I applied for an IT job there, but I haven't heard anything back yet. Maybe it'll be nearer the time. But yes, I'll make more contact with them and my former Guide leader.
Charity events. I've always been a keen fundraiser, even since the Theale Green days with sponsored walks (I clearly remember taking 2 Kit-Kats with me to keep me going, hahaha). So I might take part in an event such as Breast Cancer UK, Diabetes UK or even MacMillian Cancer. These charities are quite close to me, so I do have my reasons.

I can't think of anymore yet. Apart from cut down on Facebook, sheesh!